Coping with Military Deployment
I met and married my husband when we were both in the military. He had already decided to become a career soldier, while I decided that one hitch was enough for me. We spent our first few married years stationed in some fascinating places, and then we decided it was time to put down roots and start a family.
I knew from my military experience that I would have to be coping with military deployment at some time, and felt quietly confident that I could handle the long distance relationship with strength and confidence. Imagine my dismay when he was being sent far away and I felt the prickle of tears behind my eyes and a note of panic in my voice when he told me. Our first child was three months old, and all I could do was clutch her to me as I tried to remain calm.
All too soon he was gone, and I found myself alone in a strange town. My little one seemed to study me with those huge brown eyes as if wondering where Daddy was and what the matter with Mommy was. This was the spur that made me stop feeling sorry for myself and made me take action. I decided it was time to make friends and get busy.
First, I found a church. I went to services, joined study groups, and threw myself into service projects. One project I really liked was visiting shut-ins. I was assigned a lively elderly lady who loved to rock the baby and tell fascinating stories of days gone by.
I found mommy/baby groups that organized play dates and excursions. Perhaps the babies didn’t get much from the art museums or the zoo, but we mommies had a great time.
I began meeting women whose husbands were also deployed, and we forged a support group that really helped when the lonely and fearful feelings of coping with a long distance relationship got to be too much.
At night, as the baby slept, my computer became my greatest friend. I wrote long emails to my husband, and he to me; sometimes we even got to have real-time conversations. I always slept better on those nights with his heart-warming words hugging me close.
As the years have gone by, we’ve added another child and have had to cope with military deployment several times; once as long as a year. I have developed those badly needed coping skills and even have mentored military wives going through their husband’s first deployment.
Coping doesn’t mean you don’t love or miss your military spouse; it just keeps you and the kids sane and cheerful until he returns, and that’s the very best welcome home present you can give.
| Tweet |
Subscribe to this comment's feed
