Dealing With The Absence Of Your Spouse
Being separated from your spouse for long periods of time can prove to be very difficult.
The lonely nights wishing he were right here next to you holding you tight, wishing he was here to help you with the children, wishing his shoulder was here for you to cry on. There are ways to get through the tough times without making yourself susceptible to depression. You can get through it, and hopefully these hard times will not last forever.
Communication is key when it comes to being separated from your lover. Talk on the phone as much as possible, share with one another how your day has been and what you have done. Tell him the funny things that your child did today or the things that stressed you out. Share your life with one another even when you are apart. Use your computer to your benefit by scheduling time for the two of you to chat via webcam. A webcam enables you to hear your partners voice, see his face and his body language. Talking this way is the closest thing you can do to being together.Surround yourself with family and friends. Don't give yourself time to sit alone and wallow in your sadness and loneliness. Invite your friends over, or go out with them when they invite you. Enjoy yourself, even in the absence of your spouse. Allow yourself to smile, and don't allow any self pity in this difficult situation.
Taking care of the children on your own can be very difficult. Plan family time with your kids so that all of you can get together, play games and even talk about daddy while he is gone. It will help your children and you to look through photo albums together and talk about how much you miss him. Let the children know that it's ok to cry when they miss daddy. Ask the children for extra help around the house while daddy is gone, it will make them feel needed and give them a sense of accomplishment to help mommy out. Enlist the help of family or friends to watch the children for you once in awhile so that you can have your own time alone, or to enjoy with friends. Don't let yourself feel guilty for wanting to have your own time, you deserve it.
When your partner is home, make the most of that time together. Plan a special date night out, spend some quality time together, laughing, talking, loving one another. Cuddle as much as you can and tell one another how much you love them. Those three small words can mean so much when said face to face. Be sure to plan time for the kids as well, and plan family time, a fun outing or a game night.
Try to keep in mind that hopefully these rough times wont last forever. There will be a day when he or she isn't gone so often. There will be a time when you can fall asleep in each others arms every night. Keep that in your mind and remind yourself every day why you married him and how much you love him.
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